I didn’t realize that it’s been like 3 months since my last post. And honestly, I am making myself write this one lol. I guess because it seems too important to not at least capture the event in my blog. Anyone and everyone in the UAP/UFO community is aware by now of the bombshell whistleblower interview with Dave Grusch the Ross Coulthart did for News Nation last week. It was absolutely incredible, and, if true, could actually be disclosure with a big D; in fact, it would validate almost every single “conspiracy theory” regarding UFOs over the last 70 years – from crash retrievals, to actual alien pilots, to some kind of agreement made with NHI. Even for someone like me who considers himself very open-minded, it was hard to believe. Looks like the full video still isn’t on YouTube, but it can be found on the News Nation streaming channel. And if you Google it, you can find plenty of info.

Interestingly, instead of being super excited, I’ve actually been a bit down since it came out. Again, I find myself in the position of being envious of people “in the know,” as well as somewhat disappointed in whatever powers that be, and myself, that I haven’t seemed to have made any real progress on my journey to truth or self actualization. I read books, blog posts, tweets etc by people who have had or are having this incredible experiences, and I wonder, “why not me?” I had that string of incredible, awe-inspiring synchronicities back in the early and mid-90’s the culminated in the coin-incidence – but was the “the big one?” And was it like a one-and-done?

And I also feel a bit icky for feeling this way because I have such a blessed life. I have a wife that I love and who loves me; healthy, happy kids who love me and whom I love; wonderful grandkids, a nice home to live in, a good job, etc etc. I am blessed beyond imagination, and have no right to feel anything but happy and grateful. And yet, all this stuff is happening with the UAP stuff, and now Prof Pasulka is back out on the circuit (LOVE hearing her speak,) and it makes me yearn not only to be a part of, but to maybe get some answers about the whole coin-incidence.

On a recent podcast, she talked about synchronicities, and how she like Nietzsche’s take on them – that they didn’t necessarily “mean” anything, that they didn’t indicate we were on the right path or anything – that they were just a normal part of being human. I thought about that deeply, and in some sense, I do agree. But I also think it’s not easy to get to that state of being human, and that synchronicities can help guide us there. Mine included an actual coin – one that I lost very shortly after getting it, and have searched for for the last almost 30 years (mainly online of course). I have yet to find one that looks exactly like it, and I still have a intense curiosity to know what it was. Who knows, maybe it was just some novelty piece that didn’t mean anything. But I would love to know that for sure. Even my friend Luke, who was there for the coin-incidence, and is incredibly skeptical – even HE described the string of events as “supernatural” recently (his words).

I have this silly little dream/thought/wish that someday, some ascended master/ angel/higher dimensional being/magic little thing lol will ask me to describe the coin as some kind of test to prove that I had seen and held it. And doing so would allow me “membership” or initiation into some kind of esoteric/spiritual group that would allow me to discover the deeper truths I have sought for so long. I’m sure a lot of people in the community of believers have fantasies/wishes like this. And honestly, at this point, I would even be ok, if a bit disappointed, to find out that the coin was just some souvenir or something. I just want to see it again, and know for sure.

So what does that have to do with Grusch’s interview, or any of the other stuff going on with AI, UAP, etc? Well, according to some people – the ones that I really admire like Keel, Pasulka, Vallee, etc – it’s all connected, part of the same greater phenomenon. Was that coin inter-dimensional? Why have I never been able to find another like it? Why did my friend Luke, the skeptic that he is, describe the events around it as “supernatural?” I really want, NEED, to know the answer. I wish I was one of the big podcasters or something so I could get a little time with some of these folks. Indeed, I emailed back and forth with Professor Pasulka a few years back. She was very gracious and kind. But she has much more important things to do, is a very busy woman.

And who knows – maybe none of them would know anything more than I do, or have any hints or ideas about what the coin might have been anyway. So for now, I just keep seeking, as I have always done. I am excited to see what comes of the Grusch stuff, but also a bit cynical as to whether or not the truth will actually come out – and if it does, if it will benefit any of us normal people at all. I can envision a scenario where the NHI aren’t so benevolent or wise, have made a deal with the military industrial complex, are basically no different or better than our capitalists, and it ends up being just another layer of elites preying on us, this one non-human. That would really suck, to be sure, but it would also explain a lot about the way things have gone to this point.

One of the people I like on Twitter – and oh, I’m back on there only because it’s the only place to really keep up with this stuff – posted that he was mad about the idea that there were aliens, and that they didn’t help humanity out at all, left us to suffer the holocaust, and other horrors. I made some smart sounding reply, and posted a link to the Hopi elders statement, that ends with “we are the ones we’ve been waiting for.” It was supposed to make him feel better, but thinking about it now, it’s not really so comforting. I know I’m just in a funk, and it will pass, but it really would be nice to think there are some ascended masters/angels/higher beings/etc that could help us struggling folks out. There probably are – I hope there are. Or, that there is some form of higher self we have that has a more direct connection to Source that we can call on. If only they/we pick up the phone lol.