He’s a witch!

A quantum witch, to be exact. And if you didn’t catch it, the “he” is me lol.

So over the last few months, for whatever reason (and no, it’s NOT because of the currently popularity of witchcraft, or “WitchTok,” which I’ve never even seen or whatever) I have had this strange compulsion to identify as a witch. I fought it for a while, because honestly, it seemed corny to me, and I was concerned that maybe I WAS hopping on the witchy bandwagon, even if only subconsciously. So I allowed myself to think about it, but not take it entirely seriously.

But the compulsion wouldn’t go away. For some reason, some part of me inside was demanding to have some kind of identification, and I tried out all kinds of other names, titles, roles, identities, etc, none of which felt right. No matter how much I didn’t like the thought of it myself, I kept being pushed towards accepting witch as my identitification.

So I started taking it slightly more seriously, and some concerns arose about what might happen if I did identify as such. Would people think I was just trying to jump on the “current trend” bandwagon as I mentioned above? What would women who are witches think of some guy declaring himself a witch? Would it be like some kind of appropriation? And do I even ‘qualify’ to be called a witch? I mean, I don’t want to come out and say I am something if really am not. All these questions floated in my head. And would not go away. Lord knows, I tried to ignore or shoo them away.

I finally decided to take the next logical step, which, for a mystic lol, was to do a Tarot reading for myself. The gist of it was basically that the path I was currently on, the one of the mystic knight, was no longer productive for me; that I knew it, but wasn’t being entirely truthful with myself; and that I needed to balance seeking answers within with seeking answers from others. It really resonated, given the yearning, the compulsion I had been feeling to identify as a witch instead of the spiritual knight, or even magician. I also happened to be reading a book about archetypes, and it opened my eyes to the possibility that I had become stuck in the Warrior archetype, but it was time to move on – to stop being hung up on the Templar stuff, the coin-incidence, all that stuff.

Next, I saw that someone was offering to do readings for people, so I took her up on one. She actually recorded the reading on video so I could see it, which was really cool! This was the very first called she pulled:

So yeahhh… I mean…

The rest of the reading indicated that I had a decision I needed to make. The very last card was from a different deck, and it was a butterfly, with the caption “Metamorphosis.” Seeing a pattern here? I was.

“Ok, ok Universe – kinda getting a vibe here that maybe I SHOULD take the leap and identify as a witch.” But before I could do that, I needed to talk to a few very spiritual women I know, one of whom is a witch herself, and get their opinions. I am very cognizant of the way that the Divine Feminine has been treated down through the centuries, and I did not, DO not, want to be seen as another man taking something that belongs to women. That was really important for me.

I was pleasantly surprised to discover that both of the wonderful women I chatted with believed it was perfectly fine, and actually encouraged me. In fact, the one whom is a witch herself basically said that she thought I already was one, had the altar and everything! Lol. Which is totally true. So now I had Tarot guidance from my reading, direction (confirmation maybe even?) from another reading, and expression of support from some women friends.

The next thing I started wondering about was, what KIND of witch am I? It’s not like there’s just one. There are several different kinds it seems, some overlapping – eclectic, hedge, cosmic, gray, coven-based, solitary, thelema, etc etc. I had seen something a while back about eclectic witches, and the description fit me to a T. So initially, I was going with that, but it just didn’t seem entirely right for some reason. I thought about ‘eclectic gray witch,’ which felt closer, but still not quite right for me. I thought more about me – what I believe, what I practice, how I meditate and pray, what I study, etc – and it seemed pretty clear that, if there was such a thing, I was probably a “quantum witch” – a witch with a strong science background who works primarily with energy itself, using the knowledge of quantum physics, like superposition, entanglement, etc, to support and strengthen their spiritual practices.

I started doing some searching on “quantum witch,” and 2 things quickly became clear:

1 – there were very few pages, articles, etc discussing such, and those that were out there had not been maintained or updated from anywhere from 1 to 7 years.

2 – the few things I did find TOTALLY resonated with me, and led me to believe that I was a quantum witch.

And number 2 was topped off by this finding this image on the FB page of that name. I considered this the final “sign” – I was, I am, convinced.

But why is that so convincing?

Because this is my profile header for Twitter, and the red and blue Mandelbrot pic has been my Google and Gravatar image for several years now:

And it’s not like the Mandelbrot set is some hugely popular thing you are just bound to see. I have seen a few other profile pics out there, but I mean, what are the chances? Even the placement at the lower left hand corner of the banners is strikingly similar.

So there you have it folks – I am now Kevin, the Quantum Witch. I think I always have been, or at least have for a long time, but I am claiming it now. Actually, to be more accurate, it is claiming ME! Lol. And I am good with that.

Time to enjoy the adventure of integrating a new archetype, one shrouded in intrigue, mystery, and MAGIC – whoopee!

Pulling back a bit

I’ve said this a few times before, and always end up putting myself back out there, but I honestly think this time might just be for good. I’ve been getting message after message after message from the Universe telling me that my path is to be a solitary one, at least in regards to the deeper spiritual progress and insights go, and that attempts to share them with others probably won’t amount to much. Thing is, a number of people are going through awakening right now; some started years ago, some months ago, some maybe yesterday. But everyone is on their own path, coming to their own realizations, listening to Spirit speak to them in the manner that they can best perceive. And almost always, at least for me it seems, that manner is different for each person in at least some ways – probably more so now than ever before in history for the simple fact that a person can browse the web and research 20 different spiritual traditions that span 5000 years in 15 minutes.

In ages past, the only way a person learned about spiritual practice was either by direct contact with and initiation by an elder, being approached by a missionary or emissary, or going to a church or other gathering. And often times, in fact most often probably up until a few hundred years ago, a person would only really know of or be introduced to one such tradition. They didn’t know of others. With the birth of the printing press and the ensuing industrial revolution, people had access to books, and could go to a library and read books about different traditions. That was still limited of course to accessibility to a library, the titles that library carried, availability in the appropriate language, etc. There was more diversity, but it was still limited. Then along came the computer age, and everything changed. And once the Internet fired up, well – just like I said above, a person can take in the core principles of untold numbers of philosophies, traditions, religions, etc in a matter of minutes or hours.

And that has changed the role of the “mystic as teacher” to be sure. Things that took years to learn in the past can now be discovered in an evening of insightful browsing. Of course there is a difference between reading a deep spiritual or mystical principle and actually experiencing or truly understanding it. But ultimately, that boils down to individual work anyway – a person has to take the steps necessary for them, and they might differ slightly from the steps another needs to take to reach that same realization. And ultimately, that is a very good thing. It allows people to be free from the need for a guru, guide, or prophet. They can find information themselves, sift through it, pick out the things that fit for them and leave the other stuff. In fact, I just discovered recently that there is something called an “eclectic witch” which is basically just that: a witch who practices on their own, and mixes together a ‘custom blend’ of spiritual and magical traditions into a practice that works for them. I realized after reading it that that’s basically what I am – an eclectic witch. I’m not the prophet, priest, or even warrior I thought I might be, or wanted to be.

I don’t say this just willy nilly either. As I said in the beginning, there have been a ton of signs and messages from the Universe/Spirit telling me as much. I keep going back and forth between accepting it, and rejecting it, back to accepting, back to rejecting. Because I really enjoyed that period time when I was seen as a bit of a guru back in the early 90’s. It made me feel like who I am – who I REALLY am – was actually worth something to other people. My thirst for spiritual knowledge and all the stuff I had learned about it was truly valuable, and people looked up to me in that regard. Not a ton of people – I wasn’t some major leader or “influencer” (this was pre-web lol), but wherever I went, I became known as a mystic poet with some deep spiritual insights, a sage as it were, and it felt really good.

But these days, people just don’t need me, or anyone really, to be that “sage.” And after all, isn’t that what all the great prophets foretold? The return of the Christ. And of course, that never meant the return of the human incarnation of Christ. No, it meant the Christ Consciousness, and that it would return in the hearts and minds of all people, such that they wouldn’t need someone to “lead” them – it would live in them and reveal the Truth to everyone who seeks it. So in some sense, it kinda’ puts folks like me “out of business” lol. And that is a great thing, a wonderful thing really. Because isn’t that the dream? That everyone who wishes to can experience awakening on their own?

Now of course, that’s not to say that everyone who wants to is just going to wake up one day and be “awakened.” No, it doesn’t work like that. I suspect that people, those who earnestly seek, are going to go through the stages more quickly though, like an accelerated course, because the energy that his here right now is much more intense than it ever has been. It’s like the difference in time to fill a 5 gallon bucket with an eye dropper, and now people have a hose hooked up to a spigot. Ok, it might not be quite that dramatic. but you get the idea.

So what does that mean for folks like me who ave been on the path for over 30 years now? Well, I think some are filling that role of teacher, those who teach in a style and format that is more popular in our current time. But for me, it seems that I am supposed to focus on my own path, to not seek to be a teacher or leader or any such thing. That doesn’t mean I can’t keep posting here; I’ve been writing for over 32 years, blogging for 13, not going to stop. But I am going to pull back on the whole “Order of Truth,” the videos, the Eternal Temple website, etc. I’m not going to throw a hissy and take it all down like I have in the past lol. But I am going to stop working on or promoting them.

As I’m writing this, I just thought of the verse “a man cannot serve two masters”:

“No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else. he will hold to the one, and despise the other, Ye cannot serve God and mammon.” ~ Matthew 6:24

Now I don’t know about the hate and despise stuff. But I do know that trying to keep up the “outreach” while trying to work on my own progress isn’t working so well. I end up getting down about it not catching on, and that sets me back in my own progress. And I guess I really don’t like that; hate still seems strong, but definitely don’t like.

I read a book on mysticism lately, and a lot of the true mystics back in the day were largely unknown until after they passed, often times because they preferred solitary lives. I don’t know that I’m quite at that level, but there is a reason I chose to call this current blog the “Forgotten Mystic.” I need to embrace that, stop letting that sneaky ego get in there with it’s ideas for marketing campaigns, and start moving further up the mountain. It’s ok to be just another seeker. People don’t need a “guide,” and I am doing them, and the Christ Consciousness a disservice, by trying to be that. I can proffer advice when asked, share tales of my journey, but I’m not a guide – I’m just trying to find my way too.