I have been reading this book about the history mysticism titled, appropriately enough, “Mysticism – Its History and Challenge” by Bruno Borchert. I realized that, as much as I might like to be remembered as a bit of a mystic, there is a fairly good chance that hundreds of years from now, no one would even know that side of me – that I would be a forgotten mystic. And that is because, unlike in days past, when mystics, or those who wrote about them, recorded their thoughts and deeds on paper to be preserved for the ages, I do ALL of my writing these days on the computer – on this blog. If I were to croak, and this site were to be taken down, or forgotten, or maybe there was a big CME that wiped out all computers (you get the point), there would be no record at all of my experiences and exploits. Zero, zip, nada. I truly would be the forgotten mystic.

Now of course there is a chance that I would be remembered by some people, and that information would be passed down verbally. There are many native trives, especially the Aborigines, who have rich oral traditions and pass down the wisdom of thousands of years through songs and stories, many or most of which are never written down. But their culture is built around that, and so the people in it have a proclivity for so doing. And while most families in western cultures have some form of verbal history, it’s not nearly as rich or informative as those other cultures.

And honestly, would it matter anyway? Not to minimize myself or my thoughts and writings, but let’s face it – millenia have passed, and we have quite a few written accounts of mystics, many systems, religions, philsophies, etc that have been created, and is the world any better for it? The entire world? Perhaps not. But I for one know that I very much appreciate the writings and teachings of those who have gone before, if for no other reason than the comfort it gives me to know that others have walked this challenging path and encountered the same challenges, pain, loneliness, and dark nights of the soul that come with it.

And perhaps the forgotten mystic is really an archetype – one that symbolizes the cultural amnesia we seem to have regarding mysticism. There was a time when a scientist could be a mystic too – in fact, many were. But these days, it seems as though one must choose. And the minute you choose mysticism, you forego ALL authority or respect whatsoever regarding any scientific topics. You are branded a “New Age kook,” and relegated to the philosophical kids table to discuss football, reality TV and other ‘safe’ subjects with the other non-scientifically-minded people.

So the forgotten mystic is really every mystic from days past who is not remembered for the entirety of who he or she was. It’s you, me and everyone else who blogs about their mystical insights, all while the possibility that no one will ever see or read them looms over them. It’s that little (or big) voice inside each and every human being that asks “Why am I here? What is the meaning of life? Where do we come from, and where do we go when we pass from this life?” It’s all of us – all who have been, are, and will be; those who remember, and those who have forgotten; those who care deeply, and those who do not; those who read this, and those who don’t. May none of us be forgotten – may we all remember that forgotten mystic inside ourselves and in each other.

I was planning to write something original about the Divine Feminine concept, and to be certain, I will eventually. But rather than let an opportunity to share some valuable wisdom pass by, I thought I would share a few paragraphs from a book that scarcely seems to exist – meaning that it is out of print, has been for some time, and I’ve never met anyone else who has actually heard of it. If you read or have read any of the other posts here, you know it – “The Templar Tradition” by Gaetan Delaforge. And it is NOT your average Templar book. I have read several, and this one is much more focused on the Western Esoteric Tradition and principals and beliefs from the Primordial Tradition. I have even tried to get in touch with the author (a pseudonym) and the publisher, but no dice. This is a very long way of saying that I am going to reprint some of it here, but honestly, I would be SHOCKED – and in a good way! – if anyone actually noticed or said anything. So without further justification, here are some of the key bits from the chapter “The Divine Feminine” from that work. This is a good introduction to that concept as I can think of.

“FROM EARLIEST TIMES Man perceived that life around him manifested itself at all levels through a perpetual interplay between the male and female polarities. As he has done with many things, he evolved symbols to represent the male and female principles. The feminine creative principle has been known by many names throughout history. For example, in Babylon it was represented by Ishtar, in Syria Ashtoreth, in Phoenicia Astarte, in Greece Aphrodite, in Egypt Isis, and in the Western world Mary.

…

According to the Jungian school of psychoanalysis, many of today’s psychological ills are due to the non-integration of our opposite polarities. Followers of Jung have drawn attention to the fact that in the contemporary male the feminine side is repressed, while the opposite is true for the female sex. They also claim that dream analysis can help to reconcile us with the repressed sides of ourselves. Techniques have been employed for centuries by esoteric schools to achieve the integration of the positive and negative polarities of the human psyche. The Temple tradition in particular has been the guardian of many of these techniques.

The Hebrew conception of a masculine creator favored by Moses and the prophets has so strongly influenced the think ing of Western man that even today many people find it difficult to think of God as having feminine characteristics. This state of mind has greatly reinforced the traditional atti tude that women are not quite equal to men. Fortunately, as mentioned in the chapters on the Grail, Western society has begun, if as yet unconsciously, to respond to the power of the feminine polarity. The rise of women to positions of power and responsibility hitherto reserved for men is an indication of this evolution.”

I will post my personal thoughts on this soon, but this will provide a good foundation.

Of my site, that is. Yes, I have created yet ANOTHER new domain name and new site to go along with it. Of course, it’s not really a new site – it’s just had a “makeover” and renaming. And while I have been through this many, MANY times (can’t even count the number of different domains/sites/blogs I’ve had), I honestly have a really good feeling about this – like one I haven’t really had before, or at least not in as long as I can remember. Why? I don’t know. But I do.

It probably sounds a bit silly, but I feel like it might be related to some changes I’ve made to my amulet collection. I decided, after being bummed out to realize that even as much as I don’t WANT it to be, the Templar Cross will forever be associated with Nazis and white supremacy, to do a bit of a 180 and get some pendants that reflect the divine feminine. I realized that while I have a whole (ahem, yeahhh..) ‘page’ devoted to it on this site (I’m going to add more to it soon, really!) I don’t really have any pendants at all that have any kind of goddess/feminine energy working. I mean, I have tons of crystals and stones, but I’m talking more about the metal ones. So I decided to take care of that, and got a couple of really cool ones. The first one is a circular Isis pendant, and the second, a little smaller triple moon goddess with a tree of life and pentacle. It’s in sterling silver, and while very pretty, not overly feminine. I mean, I want it for that energy, but it doesn’t necessarily look like something only a woman would wear. Which is good, because as much as I would like to think I wouldn’t care if it did, I probably would – and I think the wife might too.

Now it might sound kooky to some to think that a simple pendant or 2 could have any real impact, but then I believe in all that stuff – even if only is as much as the symbols speak to our subconscious, and there may be things that are activated or brought into the mind under the level of conscious awareness that can assist us in ways we might not explicitly perceive. And, in this case, there IS the conscious aspect too. I believe very much in the goddess power, I feel strongly about the fact that the masculine has had complete dominance for too long, and also think that the feminine energy is more associated with the psychic, the unconscious, the mystery – magic. And of course, it’s not like some big revelation thinking that or anything – great mystics have believed that way for millenia.

So will the simple act of getting a few new pedants really change the course of this site? No. But then it wasn’t just that. The outer has inspired changes in perspective on the inner, as well as a re-dedication to actually try to DO something – even if it’s just writing – about the divine feminine I claim to revere so much. I guess the most immediate incarnation I can think of that applies is Mother Earth, Mother Nature, the Moon – all things I associate with Goddess energy, and all things that I feel deeply about. So perhaps I need to start focusing on writing about them, or at the very least, being more aware of their energy.

This wasn’t really the post I thought would be the first one here – I thought it would be about what I mean by “forgotten mystic.” And certainly, that post will happen soon. But this seems like the perfect one to inaugurate this new site. I am making a slight change in course, and moving more towards the “magician/witch” aspect, and away from the “warrior/monk” aspect. That’s not to say I still don’t feel an affinity for the true Knights Templar – I always will, no matter what, because of the Coin-incidence. But perhaps that was a stop on my journey, not the final destination, and it’s time to move farther up the mountain. I am excited to be taking this step, and looking forward to the new vistas and experiences it brings. Thank you God/Goddess 🙂

I had been looking for a legitimate Templar pendant for a LONG time and having quite a bit of difficulty finding one. Initially, I wanted the seal, like on the coin in the front of the Templar Tradition book, and after a long search, found and purchased a pretty awesome one on Etsy from a guy who makes them in – get this – Israel. Even better, the town he lives in is very close to Acre, which was one of the main Templar strongholds over there. I love the pendant, and wear it a lot.

But I had also wanted a Templar cross – a red one, like this:

Seemed like a pretty simple thing, so I set out looking online (and in stores when possible) for one. But surprisingly, finding one that was a suitable size (not huge, like some guido pendant lol), shape, color, etc proved rather challenging. I spent more minutes and hours than I would like to admit searching for that perfect one. Until finally, just a few weeks ago, I found one on a Google image search. And guess who was selling it?

I mean, it makes perfect sense. And I had never even thought to look there, didn’t even consider they had a gift shop or anything. But I’m glad I was patient and perseverant and kept looking, because how perfect is it that the pendant came from Rosslyn Chapel?!? Honestly, it’s just too cool. I would never have imagined I could get a great Templar cross pendant from Rosslyn Chapel itself.

So I took a little pic to capture the physical elements of the Quest to this point, hence the title of this post: The Templar Tradition book that started it all; an actual Templar coin from the 12th-14th century; and the latest addition, a Templar pendant from Rosslyn Chapel.

And to finish out this post with a little added dose of magic and mysticism – a pic of the blessing of the pendant on my altar at full power 🙂

When most people think of what kind of career they would like to have, where they would like to find success, I’m guessing the majority of people don’t consider these options – at least not most of them, and certainly not all of them. But I found myself meditating this morning and thinking – which one am I? Which one would I like to be? Do I have to pick just one? I mean, there is already precedent for warrior monks – those closest to my spirit, The (True) Templars. And of course in Buddhism, we have the Shaolin monks. So the role of warrior-monk is already established. And in some sense, one could even stretch it to say that monks are in essence priests of sort, and certainly in the Bible, Moses was a sort of “priestly warrior,” as were many of the other prophets. Regarding the other choices, magician, shaman and mystic can all be seen as aspects of one thing. And certainly, a shaman holds the role of the supreme mystic and magician at the same time. So it’s not hard to see how those three could be interchanged. But what about mixing all 5 – what would that look like?

When I think about it, I guess Moses makes a pretty candidate for an example of one who embodied all 5, though he wasn’t a magician in the sense that he really tried to be one – at least not from the information that has been handed down through the ages. Who knows what his real practice was like. Maybe he did perform rituals, meditate, do creative visualizations – heck, maybe he even wore crystals! Lol. Seriously though – isn’t there a part in the Bible where it talks about the high priests and their breast plates or something, and the stones in them? It’s not that much of a stretch. But the fact is, we don’t really know for sure if Moses was trying to be a magician, or if Yahweh simply performed magic through him when necessary – the parting of the Red Sea, the staff into a snake in front of the Pharaoh, etc. Of course that wouldn’t make him less of a magician necessarily, I’m just curious about intent.

Another personage that comes to mind, and one of my favorite characters of all time, is Hermes Trismegistus. So much is attributed to him. It could easily be said that he was a priest of sorts, definitely a magician and mystic, and in some sense – though not as strongly – a shaman. But was he a warrior? It seems he was more of a teacher than a warrior. But maybe a teacher is a warrior too – a mental warrior. I guess I never really thought about it that way. And to be certain, when I refer to a “warrior,” I don’t mean someone who carries a gun or sword around fighting battles and such. I mean someone like Ghandi, or Christ, or Buddha, or Mother Theresa – a spiritual warrior. So in that sense, perhaps Hermes was a warrior too. And looking at it like that, maybe it is a natural combination for a person to be all 5.

I know for sure that to be a spiritual seeker on the path to Truth, one has to have the spirit of a warrior to keep seeking over any period of time. This world is not interested in Truth – not actual Truth – and one has to exert constant, unceasing, earnest, heartfelt, sincere, patient, etc etc effort to make progress on the path. It is often slow going, and there are vast deserts of loneliness and hopelessness that await the seeker. One comes to learn that there isn’t just one “dark night of the soul” – no, it is a recurring experience, one that must be persevered repeatedly, sometimes lasting years. I have had multiple ones, and I know other seekers have as well. And that’s where one must have the heart of a true warrior – to make it through that dark night without completely giving up, without getting irretrievably lost, without making a decision that can’t be reversed.

What got me thinking about all this is that I have, for a long time now, considered myself to be 4 of those 5, at least in some sense, but never really thought of the ‘magician’ label as fitting. Probably because I have always been apprehensive of “magic,” in that I have real concerns that those who seek to do magic – like REAL magick – open themselves up to powerful energies that can easily overcome them if their intentions aren’t pure. And one doesn’t have to think of fictional or mythological narratives to see how power can corrupt. So I have always held the “magician” title at arm’s length. Not to mention, I would feel pretty silly calling myself such, since I don’t do ‘spells’ and such. But then when I read stuff like that phrase from “The Magic of the Middle Ages,” it resonates so deeply with me, I start to wonder – maybe I do align with the path of the magician? Could that be what’s ‘missing’ for me to move forward in my journey – the acceptance of that role?

I never really thought of it before, but writing this has helped me to clarify what I was wondering about in my mediation. I see now how someone like Moses could have held the role of magician, even if that wasn’t his primary role, and he didn’t consider himself one – at least not like the Aleister Crowley or Merlin types that come to mind when one thinks of them. So I think going forward, I am going to embrace that role a little more fully. I’m not saying I am going to start doing rituals, or casting spells, none of that. But I am going to allow myself to accept that archetype as part of my being – to welcome and embrace it. I just feel like there is some aspect of my inner self that is being neglected a bit, and perhaps it is the magician calling from inside me.

I had thought about posting this on my private blog, because I had intended at one point to keep this just to stuff about the Coin-incidence and the story about it. But, as with all my other writing/blogging efforts, seems like this is going to be for an audience of one, so why go to the bother to hide it, right? And I don’t think there is much appetite for the story anyway. Perhaps that is part of what is getting me down. I’m sure it is.

I think another part of it is the fact that as much as I want to think that there is some community out there waiting for me to join, or waiting to join me, it seems like there might not actually be one. I came across a quote in an antiquarian book I picked up recently, “The Magic of the Middle Ages” by Viktor Rydberg, and it gave me a little comfort:

“The individual seeker after truth may gain enlightenment, but for himself alone, not for humanity. Therefore a magician confines the wisdom he acquires to his own bosom, or imparts it to a single pupil, or buries it under obscure expressions which he commits to parchment; but he neither can nor will impart it without reserve to humanity whose path appears to lead downward into a constantly deeper night.”

It comforted me to know that I’m definitely not the first person to feel this way, and perhaps, in this sense, my path is closer to that of the ‘magician.’ But it also made me a bit sad, because indeed, it does seem like the general path of humanity “appears to lead downward into a constantly deeper night.” I think some of what is going on with the political situation makes me feel that way too. Yes, Biden won the presidency, and thank GOD. But it seems very likely that Trump will not be convicted in his impeachment trial, even though what he did is SOOOO blatantly impeachment-worthy. Why? Because of partisan politics and cowardice on the part of the GOP. It’s gotten so bad that a president can incite an insurrection – LITERALLY – and STILL not be held accountable. Very demoralizing.

And of course there is the spiritual side of it for me. Again, I got all excited because of all the coin-incidences, and the email from Professor Pasulka about my first post on this site – thought that maybe this was my “shot,” my “breakthrough.” But she hasn’t responded since, even after I sent her an email about the post on the actual Coin-incidence. I tried one follow up email, but am just going to let it go. I’m sure she has enough going on in her life and work that she has no time or interest in starting a dialogue with yet another person who has an interesting story they want to share with her. So I probably put too much significance on that. And perhaps I have put too much significance on all this.

But then I go back to the quote from Rydberg’s book, and wonder – maybe that’s the path I’m on – the path of the lonely mystic; the path of The Hermit from the Tarot. Maybe – and I say this hoping it doesn’t sound too arrogant – I am just beyond those other paths, and the one I am on is that path of the individual seeker of truth; maybe I need to realize that what I am really seeking, and what my Path is, is enlightenment for myself. And I can’t expect others to take any real interest in it – can’t expect others to want follow or join my efforts, because they have their own paths. Perhaps what I secretly want is more ego based – I want to be “recognized” or revered for my efforts; I want to be an “influencer” of the spiritual sort. Maybe inside I do have some not-so-hidden agenda, and I need to let that go in order to find what I am really looking for. I was thinking I wish I could find the source material Rydberg used for that chapter in his book, or find out who he quoted. I’d like to hear more about that seeker’s experiences on his or her path.

I have even ordered some spiritual guidance readings from Etsy, hoping to get some advice. They have pretty much all said the same thing – that the answers are inside myself, and that I should meditate to learn more. I have been doing that, and had a great meditation on the Divine Feminine the other morning – saw a white light, for just a brief moment, at the top of my head as I was closing my eyes and praying to the Divine Feminine. So it seems like that is something I need to focus on more. I don’t recall ever seeing a light like that in all my years of meditating. And even though it was brief, and not super huge or bright, it was definitely noticeable and something new.

Another thing I need to work on is just letting go of the idea of getting recognized, or becoming well-know, or founding some order, or being “discovered” by an existing one – any and all of that stuff. I need to make peace with the path of solitude, TRULY accept it, in my innermost self, and keep moving forward. Maybe that’s what’s holding me back from making more progress? Maybe I need to surrender to “win,” just like in AA. I need to overcome my addiction to approval, praise and recognition and be ok with moving forward on my Quest with that knowledge. I mean, it’s been that way for years and years now, and hoping and wishing it was different has gained me nothing but sadness.

And besides, I’m not alone – I’m never alone, and I know that. Those Spirits that have called me onward, accompanied and spoken to me have always been there and continue to comfort and guide me. I need to acknowledge the Truth of that and move forward. And so that is what I am going to do. I will keep posting, keep reading, keep writing, keep seeking, knowing that while there might not be any other incarnate humans accompanying me on my Quest, I am never alone either. May the Coin-incidence continue, may the Path expand before me, and may I be worthy of more revelations.