I guess I should probably just say “hummingbird dream,” since what I am referring to is a singular dream of a hummingbird I had last night. As you (I) know, I LOVE hummingbirds! I have made a friend of one that I typically see when we take Cooper for a walk – I think I wrote about it in another post… I think he (or she) lives in or near an orange tree down there. In any case, each time we take a walk, I try to make some little clicking sounds to try to “call” him, and it’s crazy how often it works. So yeah, I love them, even have one who is a little buddy. But back to the dream –

So last night, I have a dream that I not only see a hummingbird, but that it flies up really close to me and hovers. I get the impression that it wants to land on me, so I stick my finger out in front of it. And what do you know! The little guy lands right on my finger! I remember thinking he looked so big after he did. It was was so cool, like a (bad pun coming) dream come true. That in and of itself was really awesome. But it’s always SO cool when a little something “extra” happens after something like this. And so it did…

Just a little while ago, I was checking out the InsideSRP intranet page. They have a “Photo of the day” section on the bottom right that often features a picture of some kind of scenery or wildlife. And just guess what the photo of the day was today? I literally got chills when I saw it…

I mean… Sure, someone could say it was just a “coincidence” – oh, and I ordered a book called “The Roots of Coincidence” yesterday – but then I tend to think more of coin-incidences, which are much more powerful than those other things that non-believers have lol. So, I decided I really needed to get a hummingbird pendant, and I happened to find one that is pretty cool. It is somewhat stylistic, looks almost like origami, and feels a little more “masculine,” which is probably a good thing, since I know I will be more likely to wear it. I hesitated at first, but it really struck me. And wouldn’t you know – it was the last one in stock. After ordering, I went back to find it to see if they were just saying that, and indeed – it was no longer available. Another interesting synchronicity.

I looked up some info on hummingbirds and what they symbolize, and it wasn’t quite as “profound” as I expected. But then too I know that while there are some general guidelines or ideas about what certain things mean, I know also that for each person, the relationship with said totem or archetype is unique, and can be more or less influential or meaningful in one way or another. One page says it symbolizes “the enjoyment of life and lightness of being.” Another site says that , “In Native American culture, hummingbirds are seen as healers and bringers of love, good luck, and joy.” Another site says much more: “In legends, Hummingbird is often portrayed as a healer or as a spirit being who helps people in need, and sometimes plays the important mythological role of fire-bringer. Seeing a hummingbird is a sign of good luck in many Native American tribes, especially Northwest Coast tribes. In ancient Mexico, hummingbirds were considered sacred and associated with royalty and warriors; the Aztec god Huitzilopochtli, patron god of the Aztec capital Tenochtitlan, had the hummingbird as his divine animal and was sometimes depicted in hummingbird form in traditional Aztec art. In some Mexican tribes today, hummingbirds are believed to be messengers from the afterworld or manifestations of a dead person’s spirit.” So no matter what, it’s all good. I personally feel like it is a messenger from the spirit world with a direct connect, and I love that.

I think there are more lessons and insights to be gained from bonding with my little friend – I look forward to discovering them.

Yeah, I can’t think of anything new really, but – well, like the title says lol. I did watch a really cool movie called “Embrace of the Serpent” about an Amazonian shaman, and an explorer, told over 2 periods where the shaman was like 40, and then later when he is older. It was excellent – one of those films that leaves you wishing there were more like it. Very authentic.

I have continued creating some new jewelry. I ordered a nice piece of blue beryl, aka aquamarine, cut and set it. Looked very pretty. But I guess I didn’t put enough super glue on the post because I discovered it had fallen off yesterday, and now I can’t find it. I know it has to be somewhere here, because I hadn’t left the house. But whenever something like that happens – like when my smoky quartz bracelet broke soon after getting it – I just figure it’s not meant for me to wear. I do hope I find it, because it’s a very pretty crystal, cost me like $30, and I would like to send it to my mom. I have ordered a piece of celestite that I am going to attempt to make a pendant from. Apparently, it doesn’t normally form large crystals like quartz, so I might have to do a cluster kind of setting. I think it will resonate well with me. I have a big piece on my altar by my bedside, and love it. I did get a piece of kyanite at the antique store yesterday. It seems to keep showing up whenever I’m looking at crystals online.

So I guess I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. Sure doesn’t seem like much, but I am happy, so there’s that. I am still open to doing more, but maybe I need to focus more on being instead of doing. Maybe it’s about growing inside instead of out. Maybe a lot really is going on, just on the subtle levels. That’s what I’m telling myself. And honestly, I don’t know what the “doing” would be anyway. I watched another interesting show about a young guy who had autism, and he was going around to different Native American healers and medicine men and women. Every one of them said the same thing – that they didn’t consider themselves to be medicine people, and didn’t refer to themselves that way – it’s what OTHER people called them. One of them said, “Anyone who calls themselves a medicine man or woman is definitely not one.” I thought that was really interesting, and mirrors what Christ said when asked if he was the son of God.

I’m learning, growing, experiencing, so stuff is happening. And for that, I am grateful.

I was going to title this post “I don’t know what to do now,” but then I believe in all that new thought stuff, and don’t want to reinforce a negative thought. I want to believe that somewhere inside, I DO know what to do. But for whatever reason, I can’t quite seem to figure it out yet. I’m talking on the spiritual plane here. Like, what do I need to do to make the next “spiritual leap?” I actually tried a little self-programming before bed last night and told myself that I was going to dream of meeting an ascended master, and that person would tell me what I need to do. But either I didn’t dream of that, or I can’t remember. And so here I am in the same place I’ve been for a while.

I definitely feel an energy of potentiality. In the material world, things have been going very well indeed. We have experienced the best period of prosperity I can ever remember this last 2 years. All kinds of little, and sometimes pretty big, unexpected windfalls, or beneficial outcomes, unexpected savings opportunities, etc. And I am EXTREMELY grateful. I was thinking the other day that I can’t remember the last time I actually had to make a budget – something I did every week for pretty much my whole life. But we have been so flush with cash, we haven’t had to. Wow, what a blessing.

And certainly, just like that situation with my little hummingbird buddy, or making the blue beryl pendant yesterday and the way it just kinda fell off at the place I wanted to cut it, there is definitely an air of magic and possibility. I just wish I knew what to do with it – how to channel it into something productive. I’m not even really sure what that would be…? I thought last night, should I try to actually heal someone? I mean, solicit a request on etsy or something, and try to send energy to heal that person? I don’t know that I am even capable, and seems like there are lots of ways for that to turn out poorly. I have tried blogging, selling Tarot readings, the website, the Facebook page – none of them really clicked. So what the heck am I supposed to do?

I know patience has been a real challenge for me, and perhaps I just need to display some now. I actually kinda got that message last night – just keep doing what I’m doing. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. Is there anything else I need to be doing to get ready? I do wish sometimes that I had a mentor or teacher or guru. I actually just read an article written by GPT3, the latest greatest text generating AI, and it was pretty incredible. I have this dream of getting access to some powerful AI so I can ask it some questions, maybe set it on a mission to figure out how I can achieve higher states of consciousness without drugs. I even put in a request to get access to the GPT3 API. We’ll see if I get approved. It would be SOOO awesome if I did!

In the meantime, I guess I will just keep praying, meditating, observing, keeping my mind, eyes, ears and heart open to what’s going on around and within me. I’m hoping the material prosperity is the forebinger to prosperity on the spiritual/metaphysical plane, such that it is visible and active on this plane – if that makes sense. I’m wearing a really cool blue beryl pendant I made yesterday (mentioned earlier) and the way it turned out is just awesome. Seems I truly have a gift for working with stones. Jewelry making has become a hobby – one I wasn’t sure I could enjoy again after getting sober, always associated it with “tweaking.” But then, I never cut or drilled crystals and stones when I was spun out, so that’s kinda cool that it’s an entirely new aspect. Maybe this new crystal holds the key for th next door I am waiting to open…