A senseless bad omen, of the highest order

I saw this article yesterday, and was immediately gripped – first, by the sheer tragedy and unnecessary nature of it, and second, by the overt and powerful symbolism.


From the article:

The RSPCA said that it advised officers to leave the deer to make its own way home, explaining that deer sightings in urban areas are becoming increasingly common. But the police said that there was “no option to let the deer wander as it could be a danger to motorists and members of the public in the area”, particularly as the hours of darkness approached.

I read this as, “It’s going to take too long and too much work to try to save the deer, so we just decided to do it the ‘easy’ way and kill it.” Now to be fair, I’m not saying the officers involved were evil people, and perhaps they really did feel that there was no other option, that peoples lives were being endangered. But that thought alone exposes a couple of salient points.

One is the fact that the whole reason the deer was in the town to begin with is because human development has encroached on their natural habitats so much that there really is no chance that deer WON’T show up in towns. And that goes for other wildlife as well. As humanity gobbles up more and more real estate and associated resources, the animals get less and less, and are starting to venture into human towns and cities more in search of food, water, etc. I don’t think animals actually WANT to come into towns, they are probably going out of necessity, loss of natural habitat, or even confusion. Given that, seems we could go out of our way to try to show some understanding and compassion, or – shocker – even have plans in place ahead of time to handle such situations that don’t result in the death of the animal.

The other fact, closely related to the previous one, is that we tend to think that the Earth – all of it, the land, oceans, rivers, mountains, sky – it’s all ours, to do with whatever we wish. And anything, or anyone, who gets in the way can simply be removed. That goes for animals, and also people. The Native Americans found out that applied to them as well – the whole ‘manifest destiny’ thing. So there was no question who had the right to be in the town and who didn’t. We are humans, rulers, given “dominion” over all of creation by god himself, so we can, and do, whatever we wish. The deer had to go. And if it had to be killed to remove it, so be it – was just an animal.

I already had an idea of the importance of the symbolism of the white stag, as I’m sure most people would – especially considering the fact that in the books and films, Harry Potter’s Patronus is a white stag. I figured it was basically a symbol for nature itself, and in particular, the Forest Spirit. But I was surprised to learn that it’s actually a little more than that, and even MORE symbolic:

The white stag or hart is an unusual and elusive animal who has special meaning in ancient cultures. The Celts believed he brought messages from the spirit world. As well, he would appear as a moral reminder if person was veering off the path of righteousness.

In the legends of King Arthur, the white stag represented the pursuit of a spiritual quest.

(from https://www.uniguide.com/stag-meaning-symbolism-spirit-animal-guide/)

And also

In Christian art, like the mystical White Unicorn, the White Stag represents Christ. Sometimes, the White Stag wears a golden crown and chain, both of which are emblems of Christ’s suffering for all of humanity. Here, the color white takes on a different connotation, symbolizing deep spirituality, illumination, faith, humility, protection, perfection, and the Heavens. Stories tell of people meeting a White Stag that inspires tremendous spiritual changes in the individual.

(from https://whatismyspiritanimal.com/spirit-totem-power-animal-meanings/mammals/white-stag-symbolism-meanings/)

So, it symbolizes

  • A messenger from the spirit world reminding someone they are veering off the path of righteousness
  • The pursuit of a spiritual quest
  • Christ, and deep spirituality and tremendous spiritual changes for the individual who encounters it/him

Wow. The connotations and powerful symbolism are absolutely striking. If I knew anything about any of this stuff, I might propose that the killing of it heralds huge changes are are coming, soon; in particular, those of a spiritual nature – for individuals, and humankind as a whole. A lot of us have been feeling that something big is coming – I think there’s little question of that now.

Things are really POPPIN’!

Wow, this last 24 hours has been crazy! So many planetary and solar events.

Of course we have the La Palma eruption: https://www.reuters.com/world/europe/canaries-volcano-blasts-lava-into-air-ash-blankets-area-2021-09-23/

Then this morning, I discovered that there was an earthquake in Australia yesterday: https://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-australia-58655306

“Geologists say the quake is the largest in south-east Australia since the 1800s.”

Then I woke up this morning to see an alert on my phone about this:

And it’s really weird, because I keep getting TONS of articles, videos, etc suggested for me that are about major solar events, all published recently.

Are we ready? Understanding just how big solar flares can get?https://knowablemagazine.org/article/physical-world/2021/understanding-just-how-big-solar-flares-can-get

Could a solar storm wipe out civilization as we know it? | Michelle Thaller | Big Think https://youtu.be/VGYMgU7d00Q

And of course, this is all in addition to my own intuition about a major solar event on the near horizon. How near, I don’t know. But it certainly seems the Universe/Spirit is sending PLENTY of messages about what’s coming. I’ve read somewhere that they always communicate in advance when truly huge things are coming. I think back to the Flood in the Bible. I don’t think it was necessarily God, some old guy in a robe, bellowing out to Noah from on high. No, that was allegory. Chances are there were signs, similar to what we are seeing, but obviously tailored to that time period.

What does all this mean to me? Well, that I was right – surprise suprise! Lol. Seriously though – I think it means exactly what I have been contending for a while now, that we are in the ‘event’ now, and that things are continuing to accelerate, the “quickening,” as we get closer and closer to that tipping point that will really start to reveal where we are in this time. At least for those with eyes to see and ears to hear. Because, just as in the days of Noah, there will be those who don’t see it, don’t want to, and honestly don’t care.

And to repeat what I’ve been saying, it’s not the “end of the world,” it’s the end of this ‘world’ – this phase of human development, if it can even be called that. A lot of people, seers, visionaries, channelers, contactees, intuitives, shamans, etc are saying the same exact thing. It seems very hard to believe that we could ALL be wrong.

It’s not a time to be afraid – it’s a time to rejoice! Not saying it’s going to be all unicorns and rainbows – though that would be awesome! Lol – but it means that there is some karmic balancing that’s finally going to happen. And maybe a chance to start over, or at least remove enough of the forces of life’s destruction to give builders a chance – a rebalancing, a grand attunement to a higher vibrational existence.

Who knows, I could be totally wrong. But it’s not just me saying it. The prophets of old, and even some newer ones have said as much. The good thing is I don’t think we will have to wait too long to see where this train is heading. I, for one, am ready for the ride – ready to get off the train we’ve been on and head for a new destination – all aboard!

This ain’t no “Field of dreams”

I built it, but they didn’t come lol.

Of course, I’m talking about the new forum I created on the relatively new site. But then, I’m talking about this blog too. And the one before it. And the one before it. And – you get the point. I don’t know if anyone has ever actually seen it, but buried down on the bottom right of the page, below the archives, in very small print, is a link to the main blog I had before this one – “The Thought Buffet” http://thethoughtbuffet.blogspot.com/?zx=4200ca3d48d5c8e5 Clever title, right? And then there was the even older blog, “The Cessation of Suffering” http://thecessationofsuffering.blogspot.com/ And I think between both of those, over 10 years, I had maybe 2 people who read them. But honestly, it’s not like I tried to promote them that much, and certainly wasn’t writing for entertainment. They served primarily as personal journals.

Well, that’s not entirely true. For a period of time on “The Thought Buffet,” my cousin had convinced me that I was a great writer, and that my stuff was really funny, so I should try to do more of that and promote it a little bit. And so I did, but it never really got much attention. I tried posting links to the content on Facebook, and spreading the word in other ways – no dice. So I went back to just writing whatever struck me.

And so I have continued to do so, up until about 2 years ago, when I was compelled to put together a website that I hoped would attract some like-minded folks. I thought that people would see it, go “oh wow, that sounds cool!” and reach out to see what it was about. I would then tell them of my desire to start a spiritual order called The Order of Unifying Truth – one like the Knights Templar (the true ones, as from “The Templar Tradition,” not the ones described in all the documentaries and popular books) but modernized, fitted to today’s world. They would say that sounded great, and we would set about on collaborating on how to actually build the order, what we could actually do, etc. Others would join in, and it would be like our very own virtual Knights of the Round Table.

As I write this, is actually sounds a bit silly, honestly. And that’s probably why it hasn’t really taken off. You can’t just throw a website out there with some idea of creating some spiritual order without having it all planned out I’m guessing. I wonder how groups like the Masons, the Templars, the Rosicrucians, etc, got started initially, like in the very very beginning though. They can’t have known everything right off the bat, right? There had to be some formative period where a few people came together and figured out what they wanted to the order to be about? What the codes, ideals, goals, etc should be? I’ve felt compelled – guided one could even say, to try to start (or actually re-start in a sense) such an order. But while I think it is some kind of “destined” thing, maybe I am just deluding myself, living in my own little fantasy story? It’s entirely possible. Or maybe dark mentalists/tricksters/mischievous/malevolent energies/entities are messing with me, stringing me along to waste my time and resources while also sucking the hope out of me? That’s possible too.

And who knows – I guess there is always a chance, slim as it may be, that it could still happen, and I just have to be – oh God, I can’t hardly stand to say this again – PATIENT. That word has been the biggest challenge of my life when it comes to all this stuff. It’s not so fun being an “old soul” when people are telling you that at like 12 years old. This shit has been old for a long, LONG time already lol. But if I am nothing else, I am persistent. I guess I make up with my lack of patience with that dogged determination. In fact, my old best friend Doug (God rest his soul; tomorrow is his birthday – Love you brother) always liked to jokingly repeat a phrase my mom yelled at me one time, one that he thought encapsulated me nicely – “You bull-headed little f**ker!” He would exclaim that, and we would both crack up; because my mom said it, and because it was actually true!

So you know how there’s that old question, “What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?” Well, what happens when an incredibly persistent person keeps trying to create something, unsuccessfully to this point, that he is extremely impatient to get going? I’ll tell you what – a huge number of blog posts just like this! Lol. Seriously – I bet if I looked back over the last 13 years of posts, there are probably at least 50 just like this. Hell, I should do that – go back and find some good ones, just copy and paste them, save the keystrokes.

Of course I have a few more than 2 followers now, which just goes to show how hopeless things really are haha! But if there’s one conclusion I have come to, it’s that I am going to write whatever I am moved to, without any concern of who might read it or whether they will like it. It’s been just me for so long, that the only audience I really have to please is that bull-headed little f**ker who just won’t quit. Because even though I get SO sick of that guy, I’ve learned to love him too. Because he still has his dream, silly as it may be. And he’s STILL going for it, 13 years, 3+ blogs, and a gajillion posts later. So maybe it doesn’t matter if anyone else comes to the field of dreams. In fact, Mother Theresa’s Prayer just came into my head – seems like the perfect end to this post:

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway.

         If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.

         If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed anyway.

         If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.

         What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.

         If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.

   The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.

  Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.

         In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway.

Epiphany – we are IN the “event,” now

I was responding to someone on Twitter this morning who was saying that he keeps hearing about some big “event” coming – these are the actual words from his post:

“I keep seeing that we are entering some sort of new new time and changes, but when? The waiting sucks. I don’t care if it’s the rapture or a giant asteroid or even the lizards invading.”

I thought about it for a moment or 2 and started writing…

“A pretty smart dude once said that no one knew the exact day and time lol. But seriously, it’s now. It’s a process, and we are in it. Ultimately, it’s an inside job, personal revelation. The pieces are being provided, it’s for each us to put them together.”

And as I was typing, I started to have a bit of an epiphany –

“I’m starting to think that’s what “the great deception” is really about – making us all think that there is going to be some singular, spectacular “event” or catastrophe, such that we are all waiting, and waiting, and waiting… such that we miss the true event, even while it passes right in front of us. I keep thinking back to the parable Christ told about the ‘thief in the night,’ and it makes sense in this context. I don’t know anything more than anyone else, but the signs are all around for those with eyes to see.”

Now to be sure, I’ve thought for a long time that we are in the middle of what is going to be a longer process than I ever wished for. Much like the guy who posted that comment, I was tired of waiting like 30 years ago! Lol. And I have predicted, incorrectly, time and time again that the “event” was nigh – probably partly out of wishful thinking. And the more I started to think about that very dynamic – the constant wishing for a truly apocalyptic event; the cycles of waiting, hope, then disappointment when it doesn’t happen (think 2000, 2012, etc etc); the loss of faith that comes with waiting over years and years, only for things to keep going; and – wait, hold on a minute – that last one, it stuck with me. The loss of faith –

And it dawned on me – what if we truly ARE, and not just speaking hypothetically or metaphorically, but what if we really are right smack dab in the middle of said “event,” and the great deception is that we don’t even realize it! Jesus spent quite a bit of time in Matthew 24 giving parable after parable about being ready, not being fooled, keeping watch, etc.

“No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son,g but only the Father. 37As it was in the days of Noah, so will it be at the coming of the Son of Man. 38For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark. 39And they were oblivious, until the flood came and swept them all away. So will it be at the coming of the Son of Man. 40Two men will be in the field: one will be taken and the other left. 41Two women will be grinding at the mill: one will be taken and the other left.

This part – it’s not about being physically taken – it’s about the spirit, the soul. And the one taken, they aren’t the “lucky” one being ‘raptured’ – the one being taken is being taken by the dark mentalists, by the powers of hatred and destruction set loose on the world. Christ was not one who would look to be whisked away from trouble – no reason to think that he would expect those who follow Spirit to. The person left is the fortunate one. Think about Noah – he wasn’t taken, right? He was left here, he remained.

42Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day on which your Lord will come. 43But understand this: If the homeowner had known in which watch of the night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. 44For this reason, you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour you do not expect.

It could definitely be said that right now, especially in the US, we are in a dark night of the soul as a nation. And the thief is doubt and fear. Our house is our temple – our mind, body and spirit. And the thing the thief is coming for is our faith, our belief, our hope.

45Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom the master has put in charge of his household, to give the others their food at the proper time? 46Blessed is that servant whose master finds him doing so when he returns. 47Truly I tell you, he will put him in charge of all his possessions.

48But suppose that servant is wicked and says in his heart, ‘My master will be away a long time.’ 49And he begins to beat his fellow servants and to eat and drink with drunkards. 50The master of that servant will come on a day he does not expect and at an hour he does not anticipate. 51Then he will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the hypocrites, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

That last part especially – he begins to beat his fellow servants. Seems to be a lot of that going on, especially when you think of ‘beating’ in a spiritual/psychological sense, and not necessarily physical. We are all being beaten down by the impacts of the things they have down to Mother Earth, to our civility, to life and hope itself.

I am honestly tripping out a bit right now, and realizing that I REALLY need to work on protecting myself – physically, mentally, and most of all spiritually. Because the battle of Armageddon is happening right now, on the spiritual plane, LITERALLY. It’s fairly easy to see that sides are being chosen as never before. And we need to be careful – I need to be careful – not to underestimate the powers of ignorance and division – the egregore of the antichrist. Because it/they are coming for those whose Lights shine brightest. Their only hope at this point is to extinguish all the light they can. And the longer we all remain complacent, in a state of waiting for some event, instead of realizing it’s already here, the easier it will be for them to accomplish their mission. Wow.

I could argue that this is the most important epiphany I’ve ever had. I too have been waiting and waiting and waiting, growing weary, impatient, and hopeless – all while my spirit and belief have been taking a beating, as are those of so many others. We need to see what’s going on right now, believe it in the depth of our souls, and start working on strengthening our spirits as much as possible.

That being said, I have started a forum for people of like minds and spirits to gather and share thoughts, ideas, wisdom, encouragement, experiences, etc. I am curating it carefully, because I want it to be a place free from the negativity, doubt, skepticism, division, etc, of other social media hangouts. If you are interested in joining, please send a message via the “Contact” link on my site, and I will provide the info.

I think that at this time, those of us who take our spirituality seriously and see what’s going on need to join together for strength and support. Because the battle for our very souls is happening now. And we need to stop waiting, and start fighting, to save them – together!

Video, or no video..? Feeling disenchanted

I think the title sums it up pretty well. I’m considering whether or not I should do another video for YouTube or not. I had an idea all planned, what I was going to talk about. But the more I kept thinking about it and seeing posts on Twitter of the things other people were covering in their podcasts – along with the fact that the video I personally thought was great and right in my wheelhouse, the “Two Pillars,” did so poorly – has me wondering if I should do any more or not. There are a few people who say they enjoy them, and that’s nice to know. And the quantum physics vid, it’s doing great – almost 100 views. Which just goes to show, I guess, that science is much more popular than spirituality. But then I already knew that. I wonder how many people realize how little “nuts and bolts” there really is to quantum physics?

The other thing I am running into is the fact that I really don’t know anything. No, honestly – I don’t. Someone even called me out today on a post I made about Siberian shamanism, which I have read about. I didn’t think they did hallucinogenics – turns out they did/do. So even a topic I THOUGHT I knew about, I don’t. And I don’t know any more than anyone else about spirituality, prophecy, meditation, anything. I read posts from other people and am amazed at how much better they put things than I do. I think the only thing I know, I can know, is what I myself have experienced. And that isn’t worth a hill of beans these days lol. Oh sure, I could tell personal stories. But there are tons of other people out there with much more compelling, interesting, funny, insightful, valuable, etc etc stories than mine. And this isn’t a self-pity thing (I mean, maybe it is a little bit lol) – it’s just the truth.

I was going do a video about prophecy. But I don’t know anything for certain about it, and there’s probably nothing I could say about Christ Consciousness that Whitley Streiber or others like him haven’t already said. I was going to talk about egregores and consciousness – but Anjali, Marshall Summers, and others like them have that covered pretty well. When I read their stuff, I’m like, “Yep, that’s what I would say.” When it comes to mysticism even, there are far better people than I out there sharing their profound insights about it. If anything, Twitter has been extremely humbling. It’s shown me how “un-special” I and my “wisdom” are.

And I suppose that’s a good thing. So much of this, for me anyway, is ego. I was thinking about it tonight – why do I care? Because I, my ego, WANTS to be popular. I want to be that person being retweeted. I want to be the person being invited to podcasts to share my mystical and philosophical insights. I want to be that person people look up to as a sort of guru or whatever.

And don’t we all, really? I mean, doesn’t it suck when you post something you think is really great on Twitter, and you get one, yes 1, like, if that even. Then you see someone else post almost the exact same thing, and they get tons of likes. It stings, right? We all want to be seen, to be heard, to feel like we matter. And I, I’ve had these stupid experiences over my life that I have interpreted to mean something. But apparently, that interpretation was wrong – wishful thinking, or delusions of semi-grandeur perhaps. Because I have tried repeatedly to pursue what I thought those experiences were leading me to, and it has resulted in pretty much nothing – at least to the outer world.

Personally, I have gained a TON of humility. And resilience. And patience. Ok, I’m still working on that one lol. But I have learned a lot. And I have learned that I don’t know squat. I truly understand what Socrates meant when he said a wise man knows he knows nothing. I just don’t think I can do any more videos, because I don’t know anything. I’m thinking about maybe telling the story of the coin-incidence, but I don’t even think that would come across right, don’t think I can capture the true spirit of it, and it would probably sound lame.

So, while I thought maybe I was transitioning back to the The Magician, like I was for a while back in my heyday, it’s looking like I will be staying The Hermit. And that’s ok I guess. I did a Tarot reading last week that kinda pointed in that direction, that I need to re-evaluate what I think my purpose is. Then I had a blood vessel break in my left eye, and there was a similar message in that. I hear you Universe/Spirit/God/Whatever. I don’t really like what you’re saying, but I know better than to try to keep paddling up river, all while the current shows no signs of changing. Time to just let go again – for a while anyway.

Time to just focus on climbing again. I need to focus on the summit, and not on telling people “Look how close I am! I’ll tell you how I did it…” Because honestly, they could be closer than I. I just need to keep climbing, stop comparing progress to others, and remember that it’s between me and my Higher Power – that’s it, that’s the Quest. Onward and upward.

The OUT is out – for now

Well, after months, actually years of trying to get an Order started, it looks like the Universe has spoken, and the answer is to let it go for now and focus on other things. Now this is not easy for me, because ever since the coin-incidence back in ’94, I have been trying to figure out the meaning of it, what I was meant to “do” with the info. And the conclusion I had come to – both back then, and recently as I have started to get deeper into spirituality and mysticism again – was that I was meant to ‘rebirth’ the Order of the Knights Templar, but a new version of it – one that admitted men and women, and was updated to better reflect the environment and challenges of our modern age. I created a website, even commissioned a really cool logo to be created just last week. But I have been confused on just how to move forward. And now I’m thinking that might be because that’s not the direction I was supposed to go – that isn’t the my real “mission.”

How did I reach that conclusion finally? For starters, last week, I had a blood vessel burst in my left eye. I wasn’t even aware of it until my wife looked at me and said, “Honey, did you know you have blood in your eye?” I did not. When I looked in the mirror, this is what I saw:

A friend of mine asked if I had looked into the spiritual meaning of it, and I said that I had not. She sent me this link:

The part that really caught my eye (punny, right? Lol) was this:

“You may need to internalize a message from your intuition now, even if part of the message involves dramatically changing your view of yourself. You may have to examine your inner motivations and subconscious desires now. You may also be shocked to learn that your true mission or purpose is not what you thought it was and this revelation can change the way you see yourself.”

That really got me thinking. She mentioned that the means by which the message was delivered was pretty bold. It also mentioned something about the Divine Feminine energy and developed psychic abilities, but I digress.

Sunday I spent a little time working on the page for the Order, and again, was a bit confused about how to move forward. So yesterday, I decided to do a Tarot reading on it. My question was if I should continue pursuing setting up the OUT or not. This is the reading:

The upside down chariot and 10 of swords smacked me right off the bat – definitely some “not the right path” vibes going there. The knight of wands reversed, same kind of energy. Interestingly, the outcome card being Justice upright was a bit of a surprise, and I’m still trying to work out the overall message. The friend I mentioned said she thinks the overall message is not “no,” but “not yet.” And that makes sense. Perhaps the reason I can’t think of how to move forward is because it’s not the right time yet. However, that doesn’t mean all my work has been in vein – it just means I need to do something I struggle with sometimes – be patient.

So for the time being, I am going to go back to blogging here, making videos, and just being open to the Universal Flow. It’s hard for me to do nothing in regards to all this stuff, but blogging, doing videos, and posting on Twitter is not nothing. My friend recommended I follow my passion, my creative side, and ask my Higher Self to guide me. She also said her guides told her I can need to “let things happen!” so that is exactly what I am going to do. I can listen, I can take guidance, and I can be patient today – I can do this!