Cannot concentrate on work – Sign received!

I woke up this morning feeling a bit of fear and uncertainty. All of the various things happening in the world right now – the pandemic, the war drums beating in Ukraine and the South China Sea, the divisive rhetoric and rise of the alt-right, extreme climate change, etc – are causing me to think that we really could be on the brink of society – perhaps even civilization – changing, or ENDING very soon. One of the things that’s been really concerning me, and one of the most imminent and realistic threats is the effects of cyber warfare, should Russia (and maybe China too) decide to go after the US in earnest. I remember this article from not that long ago:

I have an uneasy feeling that they could do some real damage to our infrastructure at the drop of a hat. I’d like to believe and certainly hope we have addressed the intrusions and hardened our systems, but knowing how reactionary as opposed to precautionary this nation is, I’m not so comforted.

Then there is the pandemic of course, which I have written about before. I’m all but certain that it will eventually bring civilization to its knees. How soon that will be is still a bit of a mystery. There is a lot of talk of the BA.2 variant, which is now starting to rise exponentially in Denmark and the UK, and has been detected in 40 countries, including right here in good old AZ. But it sounds like – from what we know so far – it’s not any more virulent than BA.1, OG omicron. Although someone on Twitter posted this this morning – looks like deaths, particularly among children, are starting to shoot up in Denmark now:

Now I’ve been thinking about this kind of stuff for years, right? So why the fear and uncertainty now?

Well, with the exception of the very start of the pandemic, and a brief period back in ’94, it’s always been kind of a fictional scenario. I believed it would eventually happen, but then after it NOT happening (“it” being a civilization destroying event or series of events, apocalypse) so many times, I resigned myself to thinking I was silly for believing that, and stopped considering what it might actually be like to go through something like that, in real life. But now…

This morning, upon waking, I started thinking about what it would be like if the power suddenly went out, everywhere, for everyone. I thought about the possibility of “armed raiders” eventually striking out to take whatever they needed from whomever was around. I thought about groups of “patriots” gathering to do that kind of thing together – and the possibility that those groups already exist, and are ‘prepped’ for just such a thing. And that is truly some scary shit. I was thinking about it in real-world terms, and it was very unsettling.

Now I have had this voice in my head, an intuition, a belief for a long time that I would be “taken care of” when the time comes. For a long time, I have hoped it would be in the form of some kind of windfall that would allow me to purchase a piece of property where I could get some off-the-grid type thing going. But that hasn’t happened as of yet. I’ve also been getting the message that everything will just work out – that Spirit will be watching over me/us, and I need to just trust. But that’s a tough one, even as spiritual as I am.

This morning as I was feeling that stuff, I did my morning prayers, and focused on those thoughts and feelings. I asked God/Goddess to give me some kind of little sign that everything would be ok. I felt like I really needed one. I went to Starbucks to grab coffee, and for the first time ever at that one, they did latte art for me, and it was a heart. I definitely took that as a sign. Then, here at home, my BT speaker turned off, all by itself, for no reason. Never happened before. Then, the lights in the family room – and ONLY the family room, where my workspace is – started flickering repeatedly. So it definitely felt/feels like there is something going on, some kind of energy coming through. And yet, I still feel a bit uneasy. I even thought about putting a message out on Twitter, asking if anyone who follows me is independently wealthy, and whether or not they would be interested in funding some kind of commune or something lol. I have faith, but I also like to have a plan – and right now, I don’t really have one.

So living on Faith it is for now. I do feel stuff is about to go down, and in a much bigger way than before. The signs are all there, and it’s not just me seeing and saying it this time. I am armed, have a Berretta 9mm with high grain hollow points under my bed, so I’m not completely “helpless” in that regard. I was put in a situation when my son was very young that convinced me I wanted a firearm handy just in case my family was ever threatened, and I’ve had one pretty much since. I say that to comfort myself as I think about armed intruders coming to grab what they can, like in all those post apocalyptic movies lol. Of course, there is the possibility too that those kind of people just won’t be around, at least not in numbers, or with the strength needed, to have to worry about them. But I believe in the “always be prepared” motto, so…

I feel a little better writing this all out. I’ve felt since I was a small child that I would get to see the apocalypse/second coming/end of the world/whatever in my lifetime. I don’t even know why, but I really did – still do – feel that. And I’ve been expecting it for a large portion of my life. Which has made me look silly more than a few times, when I was just SURE the end was nigh! Lol. And this could be yet another one of those times. But never before in my predictions has an actual mechanism to bring such a thing about been present and active like is happening now with covid. It seems pretty clear that if we were to see a variant with the transmissibility of omicron, and the virulence of something like MERS, it could very well spend the end of the civilization we now know, much like it did with feudalism in the Black Death – it died along with the millions of people, never to return. Could the same thing happen with capitalism? I don’t know, but seems like we might just get the chance to find out.

Whatever happens, or doesn’t happen, I am really upping my spiritual game – praying a lot, meditating a lot, paying attention to signs and omens, connecting with Nature, expressing a lot of gratitude, wearing a lot of talismans, etc etc. I have been through a lot of stuff in my life, made it through a LOT of challenges, by the Grace of God/Goddess, and I’m not about to give up or give in now. I will face each moment with as much courage and faith as I can muster, and remember this saying, which I so love:

“Courage is not the opposite of fear, but the recognition that there is something more important than fear.”

Blessings of Faith, Hope and Courage to all who read this – don’t give up, don’t give in!

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