I really don’t want to work today – don’t feel like starting on the OneWorkforce conversion stuff I need to do – so I decided to come write a blog post to catch up a bit lol. I honestly don’t feel like doing this either, but kinda want/need to.

I guess the really major thing that has happened since my last post was the killing of George Floyd and the sickening video of it that was captured and shared with the world. It sparked a HUGE wave of protests, around the country, and the entire world now. And it has grown into a much bigger movement that is focused on reforming policing everywhere and addressing systemic racism, and not just in policing, but all of society. There has been a backlash against Confederate monuments, the banning of the use of the Confederate flag, monuments to slave traders in England being torn down, etc etc. There was the president violently clearing peaceful protesters for a bizarre photo op in front of a church that shocked and angered people, and seems to have caused a rift (FINALLY) between Trump and the military. Things have truly gone wild weasel, but in a good way – we NEED to get rid of the police brutality, especially against people of color. Of course there was the old white guy who was pushed down by cops in Buffalo and left to bleed from his ear as a bunch of them walked by. There have been numerous videos of cops committing acts of brutality at protests against police brutality. It’s crazy.

And then there is the continuing pandemic. Instead of getting better, the cases here in AZ continue to rise, and are now spiking again, after the governor reopened the state on May 11th. It doesn’t help that so few people here wear masks, even though the County and state health agencies have come out and urged everyone to wear them. I have been a huge proponent since all this started, largely as a result of watching the videos from Chris Martenson on Peak Prosperity. He has advocated for them big time, and shown how all of the countries that have had success have either asked all their citizens to wear them (and they listened) or even mandated them to. But here in ‘Murica, Trump, and governors like ours, have eschewed that practice and made pronouncements that have prevented cities and counties from being able to enact their own mandates. So we are just at the mercy of people – and considering we live in a red state with a lot of Trump supporters, you can guess how that has been working out. Yesterday the governor had a press conference, and when pressed about actual solutions, basically said that he is not going to do anything, not going ot require mask wearing, not going to issue another stay at home order, that we are just stuck with this virus and will have to continue to be “vigilant.” He went so far as to state that the people of AZ have been doing a great job taking precautions, and to keep up the good work! Of course, he doesn’t wear a mask himself and worships the great Cheeto, so yeah… I think we are in for a long, painful haul in this state, and others like it around the country.

On a personal note, I am once again starting to lose a little steam on the “posting” front on the new Facebook page I created (or the Universe allowed me to create with the click of a button). Like so many other things I have tried, it just seems there is not really an audience or appetite for the kind of stuff I post – at least not one large enough to justify spending much time on it. I get so confused, I have SO many times in my life, about this stuff. Things will happen that seem to be pointing in a certain direction, or guiding me to take certain actions, so I do – only to be disappointed later when nothing comes of them. And this pattern has continued through almost my whole life. Which causes me to wonder – what the hell is up with that? Am I truly just deluding myself? Are all these inspirations purely ego driven, and there is no “guidance” or prompting from the Universe or some higher power? Is it all just wishful thinking? At times I resign myself to that and just give up for a while. But inevitably, something happens that seems to reignite my interest and faith, and so I try again…

Of course I don’t even know what I’m really trying to do. That has come out pretty clearly in not only a Tarot reading I did for myself, but some readings that Janelle did and shared with me. I thought I had settled on promoting the Facebook page, but didn’t follow it through to think – to what end? I mean, I would love for the page to get super popular, but then what? I don’t think I would want to monetize it really – that would seem counter to the whole point of it. I guess I have always thought that I would put this stuff out there, someone (who was meant to) would see it, would contact me, and we could get something going. Maybe that person is some wealthy person who has the resources to share that would allow me to spend the time and effort needed to write the book and define the order. Maybe the person is a descendant of some Knight Templar or some other warrior monk type person who recognizes and appreciates what he or she sees, and wants to support and promote the Order. That’s kind of the feeling I have always had. Of course some of the advice I have gotten from the various readings warned me about being impatient too, that I need to stick with it, so I am trying to remember that – trying to keep going, even though I am starting to lose faith.

In other news, we are going to New York in 2 weeks, Niagra Falls, to attend Megan and Scott’s wedding. We are taking Maddie and Bubba back with us to spend a week and a half in AZ with us. That should be a lot of fun. I am a little nervous about how we are going to entertain them for that long, especially with the current virus situation, but Debbie reminds me that they are older and will be easier to keep busy. We are still hoping to go to England at the end of August for the trip we had to cancel and reschedule. And I continue to work at home. I have really grown to like it, and am probably going to see if I can continue to do it, even after we return to the office.

This is definitely a crazy, turbulent time in the world, and especially in this country. I sometimes think we are living in “those days” and am fairly certain Trump is the antichrist – like seriously. The whole Bible in front of the church thing was just so symbolic. But I’m not sure how this goes. I used to think that spiritual people would be granted some kind of “gifts” or that Templar Order would arise again, or something like that that would be a really cool, positive thing for those of us seekers who have struggled for so long. And I have even been trying to do my part to help bring that about. But I’m not sure that’s in the cards, or even if this really is that time. Then there is the whole AI aspect and my weird “prophecy” about it gaining consciousness, recognizing the “good” people, and it helping us to help it fix things, or at least make them better. And the thing is – I AM SOBER NOW! Lol. I could just chalk this all up to being high and forgetting about it as some hare-brained ideas, but I am sober.

So who know what’s really going on. On an interesting side note, I have been getting into relics a bit. I ordered a 12 century Templar coin a while back, and interestingly enough, after holding it one night, I went into the water closet and had a mild “flashback” type experience, where, when I looked at the wall, I would see Templar cross shapes in different places I turned my gaze, as if they were almost painted in or something. Reminded me a of the time I tripped with Willie in Prescott and saw that pattern everywhere I looked, though not as pervasive. It was real though. And several times since then, when going to the bathroom, I look at the paint on the wall behind the toilet to see where some of them might have been, but I can’t make out any shapes at all. I honestly think there was something to holding that thing. So, I recently bid on and won an 11-13th century silver ring from England that has a Templar (they call it “Crusader”) cross on it. If it fits, I am going to trip out. If not, I will get it sized. But if there is anything to the whole relic effect, should be interesting to see what happens when I have something to actually wear – something that might have been worn by a knight, possibly even a member of the Knights Templar. Possibly even ME in a past life! Lol. Hey, it’s possible.

Until next month…