And not just UFOs.

I had an extremely hard time getting to sleep last night. I tossed and turned until well after midnight. I tried the things that often work for me and that I always recommend to others: practiced deep breathing, listened to some binaural meditation music, tried to meditate. But there was a very unsettled, almost chaotic energy around and in me it seemed. I finally drifted off sometime after 12:30am.

I have been experiencing some difficulties at work that have caused me to not like my job very much. Up until this last 6 months or so, I have loved it, and my boss loves me. But I have been working with an extremely difficult, unappreciative, and unreasonable internal client who has made me miserable. I actually dread signing on recently. After 3 hours of trying to work, I just couldn’t do it. I sent an email out to the team saying I wasn’t feeling well – and I was not – and I was taking a sick day. I am very blessed to be able to do so, and don’t take the opportunity for granted. I worked in blue collar jobs for many, many years, and know a lot of people don’t have this luxury.

I posted a little blurb about it on Twitter – not necessarily the work stuff, just about the general feeling of malaise. Nothing too in depth or anything. I was a bit stunned to see just how many other people are in that same exact place (maybe not about a job necessarily) as I – feeing tired, demoralized, a bit hopeless, deflated. And to be certain, it’s not just about the job. No, this feeling runs much deeper. There is just a general feeling of dissociation, which for me, is rather depressing. I like feeling ‘connected,’ and I just don’t today. From the many replies I got on Twitter, a lot of other people, at least among the little community I inhabit, aren’t either.

I will write more later – have to run to a doctor’s appt now with my pain management specialist. Just thought I would put this out there to capture the moment.