Well, after months, actually years of trying to get an Order started, it looks like the Universe has spoken, and the answer is to let it go for now and focus on other things. Now this is not easy for me, because ever since the coin-incidence back in ’94, I have been trying to figure out the meaning of it, what I was meant to “do” with the info. And the conclusion I had come to – both back then, and recently as I have started to get deeper into spirituality and mysticism again – was that I was meant to ‘rebirth’ the Order of the Knights Templar, but a new version of it – one that admitted men and women, and was updated to better reflect the environment and challenges of our modern age. I created a website, even commissioned a really cool logo to be created just last week. But I have been confused on just how to move forward. And now I’m thinking that might be because that’s not the direction I was supposed to go – that isn’t the my real “mission.”
How did I reach that conclusion finally? For starters, last week, I had a blood vessel burst in my left eye. I wasn’t even aware of it until my wife looked at me and said, “Honey, did you know you have blood in your eye?” I did not. When I looked in the mirror, this is what I saw:
A friend of mine asked if I had looked into the spiritual meaning of it, and I said that I had not. She sent me this link:
The part that really caught my eye (punny, right? Lol) was this:
“You may need to internalize a message from your intuition now, even if part of the message involves dramatically changing your view of yourself. You may have to examine your inner motivations and subconscious desires now. You may also be shocked to learn that your true mission or purpose is not what you thought it was and this revelation can change the way you see yourself.”
That really got me thinking. She mentioned that the means by which the message was delivered was pretty bold. It also mentioned something about the Divine Feminine energy and developed psychic abilities, but I digress.
Sunday I spent a little time working on the page for the Order, and again, was a bit confused about how to move forward. So yesterday, I decided to do a Tarot reading on it. My question was if I should continue pursuing setting up the OUT or not. This is the reading:
The upside down chariot and 10 of swords smacked me right off the bat – definitely some “not the right path” vibes going there. The knight of wands reversed, same kind of energy. Interestingly, the outcome card being Justice upright was a bit of a surprise, and I’m still trying to work out the overall message. The friend I mentioned said she thinks the overall message is not “no,” but “not yet.” And that makes sense. Perhaps the reason I can’t think of how to move forward is because it’s not the right time yet. However, that doesn’t mean all my work has been in vein – it just means I need to do something I struggle with sometimes – be patient.
So for the time being, I am going to go back to blogging here, making videos, and just being open to the Universal Flow. It’s hard for me to do nothing in regards to all this stuff, but blogging, doing videos, and posting on Twitter is not nothing. My friend recommended I follow my passion, my creative side, and ask my Higher Self to guide me. She also said her guides told her I can need to “let things happen!” so that is exactly what I am going to do. I can listen, I can take guidance, and I can be patient today – I can do this!