originally published January 24, 2019
I say reappearance, because I don’t think Magick ever died – it just hadn’t appeared in my life very much since getting sober – at least not in a way that made me go “wow!” Of course that’s not to say that getting and staying sober wasn’t (isn’t) a miracle, because it absolutely is – one I get to experience every single day. But as someone who has experienced some pretty powerful experiences – the “coin-incidence” and all that went along with it being the biggest example – I know what it’s like to feel as if I am witnessing actual magic – like the emergence of something beyond explanation in a meaningful way in my life, in this world, and it is – well, magical lol.
For a long time, I went between being depressed, thinking I would never again be able to experience those kind of peak experiences because I wasn’t going to take mind altering substances anymore, to being very angry at God/Great Spirit/Higher Power/Universe/Whatever for those same reasons. It seemed extremely unfair to me to think that I would have to give up the thing that I valued most in the world, true mystical spiritual experiences, because I was now sober – as if being punished for doing what I though, what I KNOW, is the right thing. I mean, why should anyone who is deeply spiritual be punished and deprived of those experiences? I just didn’t understand. But there is plenty of literature out there that says many shamans, medicine men, etc, use(d) psychedelics to achieved altered states so they can experience those things. I truly hoped that it wasn’t a necessity.
Then, about a year ago, maybe a little more, little synchronicities starting happening again; little situations arose that pricked up my ears; coincidences that went beyond the normal occurred, more than just once. And so I started getting that old feeling again, that I was back in the “flow” of Spirit, of Universal Consciousness, and that I was once again on the Mystic Path.